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In 1992  I was in the Year 9 at school which was odd because I was in the second year at High school the year before. I think this suggests the Government had decided to  rework the year names of school for no reason. So this would be difficult year as I would have been about 12/13  entering puberty and high school can be a cruel place, full of ridicule and bullying and just those years of having to deal with numpties.  You may suggest that life never really changes, but to keep the cliché if I knew then what I know now  perhaps I would have cared less for people the deemed themselves the “Cool” kids.

Anyway that was the year & school year  I found out  I was short sighted in the space of a few weeks my eyes had decided to give up and stop showing me what was on the board so that was my new life only wearing glasses  for reading the blackboard or the tv. That was until 1994 this was  not Lower 6th  or  Year 12 where I stumbled on the concept that if I wore glasses whilst I drank alcohol  then I could see clearly and  I could drink more this was quite the revelation and allowed me to enjoy drinking more and my old drinking buddy Colin  didn’t have to point out things like Trees, Cars , Walls etc.

That was what life was like, only taking them of for sleep,  sparring and swimming.  Oh and personal hygiene.  Glasses I have owned have be lost in lakes in Canada, punched, smashed with a shinai,  sat on, nicked. But  they have been part of my life for years. But in 2013 I changed jobs and join RealityMine and a Mr Portman joined the company later on that year, he is a BJJ guy and wore glasses until he has them surgically altered, well, polished  so he could train better.  That got me thinking so in November I went for a test to see if my eyes could have it done.  Went through the tests and they said yes we can help you. After seeing the price I decided no at 6k per eye.  Over the coming weeks  I got missed calls and texts etc. from the company trying to convince me of the sale. so after getting them down to 3k for both eyes with a pay instalments £66/month for 4 years.  This  seemed reasonable. So I agreed and was booked in the for the 10th January.

The 10th January arrived and nerves kicked in and I was beginning to question whether it was a good idea. In the morning I spent it with Henry at a play group his maternal grandparents took him too. Which was fun and he enjoyed himself and was a good boy. After that my Father in Law dropped me off a the Trafford Centre.  I got some lunch at McDies. Then went to the opticians signed in and sat in the waiting area reading the paper work to sign and then re-reading it  going to get a drink then going to the loo. Then reading anything  I could to ensure I distracted myself.

After about an hour’s wait I got called for a pre-check which was about  five minutes of checking you prescription had not changed, you had no illness in the eyes or gunk (I love that word Gunk). All fine so I was sent  back to the waiting area. So I find my Blue book of Ritual and start learning the 1st degree. Next minute, “Peter Maguire?”  I look up and it is bloke, I assumed the Surgeon / Doctor  I can went into the room and well though the same checks as before, this room was like a typical opticians room apart from an extra set of doors.  Once the checks where done I was led through into the room where the lazy eye surgery would take place. The room had cupboards on the back wall two sets of double doors one on the side where I had just walked in through and one to the right from where I stood.  In the centre of the room was a machine that is you looked at it from the top it would have  looked like an odd shape W.

Before putting the protective gown I was asked again who was I, what my age , where did I live, what was it I was having done, did I know where lord Lucan was hiding, why did Smarties only have the answer. Once I had  given my responses  I was told to lay down on the bench/bed part of the machine, keep my eyes looking up at the ceiling and to keep my eyes open as wide as possible.

Next thing that happened was the surgeon dropping some anaesthetic into my eyes, which was fine then next bit …


They came towards my right eye with the an eyeball clamp.  I open my eyes as wide as I can.

“OPEN Them”

They are open

“OPEN Them”

They are open

“right here are two stress relief balls I want you to keep squashing them with your hands”

“Better that’s one done, now the left”

Open and pump hands , keep eye looking up don’t follow the hand argh!!!

So after that, “right the next machine will cut open the lens, so keep staring at the  ceiling ”

I am move to the left

Argh I not like this

“OK the other eye you are doing fine”

Argh I don’t want to be here can’t we just stop now

“Now for the fun part”

As I am shifted under the right past with eye patch place over my right eye, everything is out of focus with  both lens have been hinged open.

“Ok keep very still and focus on the orange flashing light for 25secs”

OMG I looking into a laser, there are warnings on these things not to look at them, yet I am. Why ,Why Why?

“That’s great, hold still”

WHOO! That thing he has got there is wallpaper scraper what is he going to do with that ??? And is that tube of super glue

As the Surgeon reseals me lens down, and my left eye is now able to focus.  An  eye patch is placed on the my left and I am back under the machine with my right eye.

“Ok keep very still and focus on the orange flashing light”

This time my left eye is moving going wait I can see WTF  I can see clearly and what is it doing to my right eye.  25 seconds is a long time when you are staring at a blinking orange light.

“Brilliant, ok just hold still  a bit longer”

Over comes the wall scrapper an the glue. The patch was removed from my left eye. The bench was moved away  from the machine.

“ALL done ”

I sit up  and look around my head feels weird ,  a nurse takes me out of the other set of doors there is a bit more light but the room is still dark. She then runs through the care,  wear this at night, Don’t rub your eyes, no reading or TV.  It may take a while for your  vision to show the effects.

“Erm! to be fair I can already see a marked improvement”

“Well if you  go and sit in reception for 5mins whilst we get you to adjust and we get your eye drops.  Don’t forget to wear your sunglasses.”

“My what now? No one ever mentioned I need them.”

“They would have told  you when you came in for the test?”

“I best go and buy some”

So after waiting five minutes in the reception area  trying to test my eyes sight with the posters on the wall and turning my phone on to see what the time was. I was given the ok to leave, so as I walked into the shop my eyes went OMG  it is so bright lets squint and cover ourselves in water!   I had a look at or attempted to look at the sunglasses in Optical Express but my lord they were expensive. So I stumble into Boots found a pair of sunglasses went to buy them and  got asked,” Are you on  drugs?”

“No,” I replied,” I have just had my eyes laser-ed and the light is hurting my eyes ”

Glasses bought, taxi home booked – well pick up from Mr  Wrigley.

So I sit by the car park awaiting the ride, with me glasses on and my eyes shut. They hurt so much just trying to open them, whether it was from the laser or the eye clamps.

Dave  arrives I get in,  again keeping my eyes closed. In fact most of my journey and siting in the house talking to Henry was with my eyes closed.

Helen arrived about 6pm to pick up Henry and I.  I was sat in the dark whilst everyone else was in the conservatory .  She looked into my eyes and didn’t seem to impressed,  we got home and henry went to bed, I assume we had tea but not sure what  at about 8pm I went to bed as I could not read or watch TV  and that made things difficult.

I put my sleeping goggles on and went to sleep.  That was almost 11 months  ago. What  can I see about the experience, well it certainly worked my eye sight is better than 20/20 and I don’t mean the alcoholic drink.

20/20 vision is a term used to express normal visual acuity (the clarity or sharpness of vision) measured at a distance of 20 feet. If you have 20/20 vision, you can see clearly at 20 feet what should normally be seen at that distance.

Although they have made more paranoid about my vision as  my eyes can become unfocused  at some ranges, this could be down to the muscles being lazier or I am just panicking for no reason.

But on the whole if you do want to  have you eyes treated then I would recommend  it.


Incidentally I am having my eyes checked at 6:30pm  next Monday.

Yesterday was next Monday, and off I went to get my eyes checked out. Not long after arriving I was checked by the machine that goes phft this is a black machine shaped liked a hot air balloon with a chin rest.  You rest your chin on the rest and look into a viewr and you can see a colourful hot air balloon in the distance it maybe in focus or not either way it will be out of focus for more time it is in focus. The nurse/assistant checks both eyes quickly then , then this evil helper sends three phfts of air into each eye to make you cry! WHY ?  Cos they are just cruel! This is the only  reason I can come up with.

Back to the reception for 1 min, then I called for the test after going through  the basic questions , then the letters on wall. Followed by near reading then quick the wall and back again.  I was given the all clear    for the next 2 years. They  told me I had 5/6 vision  which is better than 20/20 as this in feet.  What does it all mean I can see clearly a target that is 6ms away from me that a person  with 6/6 or 20/20 can see at 5ms.

6m = 19ft 87⁄32in

The secrets of the order having been locked up in the safe depository  with the magic tap of the hand. The lodge was closed and the  Master and his Wardens and guests retired from the lodge room.

We filed back across the balcony to the changing rooms, to remove our aprons and get down to the Bar before the queue was to big. I wondered about balcony reading the Lodge boards that say who was Master and when.
I then decided  to  wander to the car and dumped my Suitcase in it rather than having to remember it later. I went back into the hall, spotted the chap from the Beeb and went to get a drink, as ever the queue was long so I chatted and stared at the ceiling. It to had hidden meaning the patterns formed face of old croons or wise women, cherubs and other shapes. Dr L tapped me on the shoulder and said great to see you did you enjoy yourself, one sec  let me find my other guests. (reader thank you for your patience it is almost 2months since I was there, so conversions are at my poetic license) .

They happened to be at the bar, so first drink was on one of these very kind gentlemen. In short I met at the bar the owner/edit of the masonic magazine the Square, two other gentlemen who I apologise I can’t remember their names but were very interesting to talk too. One had family in Chester and wanted to visit a lodge in Chester, I suggested mine and he took my details. 
I was also introduced to Dr L’s son, and thus the conversation decided into a very geeky chat about computers, systems migration to new ones and the wonderful world of Redshift.  Then there was a loud shout and the DC was in the bar calling us into the Festive board, finding a place on the SW’s table I was sat with Dr L and his guests, his son was at the other end of the top table.  The Beeb guy was on my right, the food was delightful, as I said we were in West Yorkshire so there are no prizes for guess what the meal was.

The conversation and the company were great, as ever the topics going on were from the sublime to the ridiculous, our good friend Wayne came up in conversation and I was asked why had he not come. I said it was because he had recently joined am new craft lodge and was doing some work on the floor. Also that he was not allowed to leave North Wales unless he could be home before the sun came up!!! (not true) I said I would encourage him to come next time. I also chatted to the SD opposite as he was long serving mason and as such had a large section of pins down his left lapel. so for test of my knowledge I rattled of a list of Masonic orders each pin represented. I got most right apart from the order of the secret monitor. This order, I was informed is the best one for caring for companionship as it is setup to look after brothers. I the sounded very interesting but as ever I have a lot to do this year in my masonic life/career. Incidentally I don’t like that term “career ” as I  don’t do it to get paid, more for the enjoyment and the learning and the interesting people you meet.

Anyways this conversation progressed into what I was in and the ones I enjoyed and most people that are in RAM also think the steps is one of the most beautiful pieces there is. Talking with Dr L about what else we enjoyed in life apart from freemasonry and Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, I said I had been trying to write a book and had started one or two but I had not finished them, I am not sure if they were any good, at this point he lent in and said “brother keep this to yourself but….”
So I learnt an interesting fact about Dr Lomas that is only known to few people. That set me of on a stronger resolve to complete a story!
At about this time the final course had been cleared by the waiters and waitresses, the doors were closed, the noise of the room was load, KNOCK,KNOCK……..KNOCK. The DC is now stood behind the Worshipful Master. It was time for the toasts. Like most lodges I have visited this followed the usual pattern. When it got to the Visitors speech , the WM stood up and said, in  our lodge we do not tap any one on the shoulder to respond on  behalf of the Visitors. Here if you want to stand and say something feel free.
And with that he sat down. My internal monologue said,” Bonus!! Hurrah and Huzzah I may be able to keep my record for not having to speak”, at which point a Breaded Brother stands and says some words. As I listen to his wise words  a voice in my left goes. I think you should stand and say something . So I stood and spoke, and sat  and the evening progressed. Like most lodges I have visited this year they all aim for a n10pm close and the Tyler’s  toast is very different to what my own lodges does.  So it was great to see, as  I had an hour’s drive home to do and the fact my brother was up and not doubt annoying me good lady wife. I attempted to  leave at 10:05pm, at 10:45pm I managed to leave, to busy saying good by and chatting to old and new friends.
One would have to say, if you ever get and invite or ever want to invite yourself  contact the sectary of the Lodge and you well be well received and mad e very welcome. I think so far this year it has been one of my favourite.

Well this was the last day I was creative , hold my hand up and wave the White Flag of defeat. Life in this modern world is busy and when you have a young family  to look after makes it difficult .  After finally get his  lordship asleep by 10pm,  the evening was at and an end and I was shattered.


But this was  my last effort ?


 But since the end of the last century the world had got “cocky”.

Thought it knew it was over the last of hells minions destroyed. Thought it could solve  it problems turned it’s back on religious or spiritual ways.

The cult of the Atheist. Was having its day, it’s delusion and that was the final seal to break.

My feet I can feel them once more, wriggle them like I can with my fingers. I have hands.

Raising his hands to his face that too was becoming whole. Only  time will tell if all his powers where in place. He began to count down from ten.

as he reached five, a sound of the thunder cracking of head and a whistling noise could be heard.


The fissure widen further and he raised his arms and gripes the walls.


He bent his knees ready to push


This is why it has happened for centuries he was kept in due bounds for every action to words falsehood and wrongs done to mankind and the balance of  nature, a pure being or breath kept him dormant.